Yesterday I wrote my (hopefully) last exam of my bachelor course. If everything works out, I have a Bachelor’s Degree of Science in the field of chemistry.
It took three years in total and to be honest it was a road full of suffering and endurance…
As you guys may know, I studied the bachelor course of chemistry in the Technical University of Munich (TUM). It is apparently known to be rather hard compared to other universities in Germany, but I do not know if it’s true. I mean if I would have studied somewhere else, the course there would appear to me too hard, too, am I right? Nevertheless, the last three years I wouldn’t consider as my happiest time of my life.
Before university (2013)
I finished my highest basic education in Germany (equally to high school I think…). It was also my first time working. It wasn’t some service like at a restaurant as a waiter or something like that. I worked for Continental as an assembly line worker in my vacation between school and university to earn some money. At the time, my father didn’t had any work because he got fed up in the delivery service he worked for, planning to open up his own delivery service. My mother always worked at an assembly line and her body grew rather frail. She also got a notice, that she won’t be needed anymore and she is able to keep her work for only one year. Because of that, earning money to prepare myself for university life lessens the load of my parents supporting me (even though I can’t be completely independent of them… Munich is rather expensive…). I also spent the little time me and my ex-girlfriend had back then, because she was preparing herself for her work’n’travel year in Japan. I was really happy with her back then and also very sad when she was leaving Germany.
Meanwhile I was applying for several majors including the direction of chemistry, pharmacy and biochemistry. I didn’t apply for any majors in the direction of art, because I just wanted to earn more money than the average. I also had this in mind because I want to offer my ex-girlfriend and my own family in the future a good life, sigh. In the end I chose chemistry in the TUM because it wasn’t far away from my hometown (about 1 hour), also because my father was planning to open up the delivery service. Supporting him felt obligatory.
I was also looking for a cheap flat in Munich of course. A vietnamese family offered me and two friends of mine a flat, which wasn’t built at the time but they were eager to finish it early. Because of that, I wasn’t looking for any backup flats anymore, which turns out as a mistake later on. Well life lessons…
1.Semester (winter semester 2013/14)
Starting my first semester in the field of chemistry I was living with the vietnamese family, which I mentioned before. They were rather nice, but I got the vibe, that they didn’t want me, even though I didn’t do anything. Well maybe they thought I’m some kind of delinquent because I was always coming home at very late times, because of my studies. They later kicked me out and I was then living with some other friends of my parents for a month, eventually getting my own flat with the help of family. Well the first semester already starts pretty nice, eh? Talking about studies and university life: Chemistry was already beginning hard and we had to complete certain practical courses in the lab every semester. Going everyday to lab and lectures, coming home in the evening and writing lab protocols everyday was rather exhausting. I knew chemistry would be hard, but not initially from the start. It also didn’t help, that my girlfriend started to neglected me, having her time of the life and probably meeting someone else (as it turns out to be in the end). I was rather depressive. Even though, I did made many friends and I’m still friends with them of course, while some other of them were drifting away from me, because we only had some lectures together and eventually none. And with the time-consuming studies, I had no time for them left… But we still occasionally meet up. The first semester ends with me being depressive of my life choices.
2. Semester (summer semester 2014)
It was certainly one of my best semester in my bachelor, because I was really outgoing back then. I did so many things with friends including chilling at the sea and even sailing. It was really fun, but with my ex-girlfriend omnipresent in my mind, it leaves a bad taste. The studies were studies: Hard but I still managed it. My everday routine didn’t change either, I was still coming back home at rather late times. Besides my studies, my father and my family were finally ready to open up the delivery service. I was in charge of the design with my brother as the art director so to speak. My brother was the boss of everything in the end and he is sacrificing so much in our buisness. Rather impressive, because I couldn’t do the same, especially not with my studies. At the time, my brother wasn’t able to study for his own major, forcing himself to a one-year break. With all the effort of my family, how am I allowed to have fun, I was thinking to myself. I tried to study harder then, but I wouldn’t consider it hard until the 4.Semester. In my summer vacation between the 2nd and 3rd semester I was working for my last time at the assembly line again. This time around I had basically two jobs, because I was also working for my family at the delivery service when I wasn’t at the assembly line…
I also did meet my ex-girlfriend, but it was rather short and I was barely holding my tears… It was kind of a rushed meeting…
3. Semester (winter semester 2014/15)
This time around, I had a practical course, which didn’t last for the whole semester. The workload didn’t change of course. There isn’t much to say about my 3rd semester besides it was the beginning of the suffering. It was the first time in my bachelor, that I had to complete a practical course in my semester break. Which means no time to chill! It would have been the best, if I had a some sort of a break before the 4th semester happened.
Oh, and for the first time in my life, we got robbed. On Valentine’s Day. Pero porque.
4.Semester (summer semester 2015)
If I recall my memories correctly and had to compare the 4th and the 5th semester, I have to say that the 4th semester was by far the worst semester I ever had. It was all because of the practical course I had in this semester, which was all about the synthesis of organic molecules. It was the beefiest of them all with a total of 12 weeks worth of work, including 2 weeks of introduction. We had to synthesize 14 compounds and if this wasn’t enough we were tested all the time through questions before the synthesis, preparing several presentations, having 3 orals exams in total and just having a bad time in general. Of course I had to write lab protocols about my synthesises. I remember those days, where I was eating rather… awkward and unusual. Like not the good stuff. Just stuffing in your mouth, not because it tastes good but because you need the energy to keep on going. My body went maximum frail after the practical course and I never had the desire to cuddle up with someone (especially with my ex-girlfriend) like back then. It was also the first semester I went to a library to study hard. Like ape shit hard. One day I was studying there from 7 am to 10 pm (with breaks of course… still). It was necessary because I had no time to prepare the lectures with this rock hard practical course. My efforts paid up, because I didn’t had to rewrite an exam and the practical course was completed with a good grade. But in return, my body became more frail. I’m trying to counter it by doing sports, but while studying chemistry, this is not all the time possible, eh?
I was just happy to have completed this bullshit and it just ended, or did it?
5.Semester (winter semester 2015/16)
With the 5th semester coming along, I first time had the freedom to choose my own practical courses. The choice was also linked with my bachelor thesis and with that, I wasn’t able to it in certain areas. I did choose to have two practical courses in the 5th semester to keep any practical courses in the 6th semester away. So again, much work less chill. The first practical course was again in the field of synthesis. This time around not only focusing on organic compounds but also on anorganic and macromolecules. It was also my first time to work with a so called “Schlenk line”, a special apparatus to work without water/air and at a very low pressure. It was more interesting than the practical course in the 4th semester and also with less stress and workload. But it wasn’t an easy path either. After this practical course finished, another one came by in the field of technical chemistry. It was also filled with stress but certainly less than the last two so it was ok. I even aced this one with the best possible grade. In my vacation between the 5th and the 6th semester, I had to another practical course (oh wow surprise) in biochemistry and after a weekend break, I started to work on my bachelor thesis in electochemistry.
6. Semester (summer semester 2016)
As the above says, my 6th semester started out with me being several weeks into my bachelor thesis. Because my workload increased so drastically for the last several semester, I didn’t have time to help out my family… I was still trying though. Some weeks passed by and I was done with my bachelor thesis. It was really… unusual in comparison with the others because I stayed for my measurements really late in the university. In retrospective, I should have chilled more but hm… Maybe I got nothing better to do than measuring stuff. With the end of my bachelor thesis halfway this semester, the only thing I got to do was preparing for my exams. I had plenty of time to prepare myself and I don’t think I failed one, so my bachelor is basically done, sitting here and writing this. I was already accepted for the master’s course and I’m spending the time between my bachelor and master as always, by working at the delivery service. I only have a week off, where I want to hone my english skills for a DAAD English test and spending some time with my friends. It seems like I’m always working and have no vacation… I really envy other people, who have a lot of free time and are spending it with their friends, family etc.
My art life for the last three years
I have been drawing. I have been drawing a lot but had less time for drawans. The logical consequence is, that I have less time for sleeping if I still want to draw. My sleep rhythm is kinda screwed up and I’m always tired because of that. In the end it was still worth it, because I improved a whole lot since 2013 and also since 2015, when I joined Starved Artists.
In my bachelor I thought of quitting drawing several times because of the stress and workload built up, but I still managed to draw something, even if it is in a slow pace. I’m kind of glad, that even my ex-girlfriend encouraged me to keep on drawing…. Maybe I would have not been drawing up to date. Now drawing has been integrated in my everday life with a little bit of sleep deprivation but it’s ok.
Sleeping doesn’t even feel good, when you don’t have someone to cuddle with…. sigh.
(Non-existent) Love life
After my ex-gf dumped me back then in 2013/14, I was depressive as shit. And to be honest I still kinda am. I did meet her recently in 2016. This time we had a little bit more of a small talk, but I noticed that she doesn’t really want to meet me… I don’t know… she was kind of repellent towards me. Sigh… I guess we will never be in love again, huh K.H.? Even though, I still do love her deep inside my heart.
The last three years I spent rather alone when it comes to love. A good friend of mine just gave me a piece of advice. Being content with the things I have. And hmm…. It helped me a lot but I still do have a broken heart. But I’m trying my earnest to lead a good life atm and don’t fall into an endless pit of depression, even when it’s hard though.
After the meeting with my ex-gf, I realized that I should initiate to apply for an outgoing semester in Japan. Because screw everything. I already attended the Japanese course A1.1 and if everything works out by the end of my 2nd Master semester I should be able to have Japanese A1 and then go to Japan. I sure do hope I will get accepted. Application starts at November this year so I’m preparing stuff this summer vacation besides going to work.
I just wanted to say thank you to all the people who thought of me and supported for the last three years, even though the blog isn’t visited much since I turned it into an emotional personal garbage. Now moving on to the next section of my life: my path to the Master of Science.
Also you can now call me B.Sc. lDopeboyl – Occasional Hentai Artist and Megane Lover.